whatever lola wants

Why some women don't like porn

gauntlet:

1. The vast majority of porn is made for a male audience. It depicts male fantasies and focuses on male pleasure. Female viewers aren’t acknowledged as an audience.

2. Mainstream porn is often unrealistic and divorced from situations in which everyday women experience sex. It’s also increasingly focused on sex acts that aren’t normative. A simple example: anal sex is standard in today’s porn, but an awful lot of women aren’t so keen on butt sex (and when you consider that in porn butt sex is usually portrayed as painful or cruel, it’s not surprising).

3. The performers in mainstream porn can be alienating and/or unappealing to women. Fake tits, blond hair, no cellulite, no pubic hair… Porn actresses can make women feel self conscious about their bodies. They may also find it hard to empathise with the female stars, which can make watching porn less appealing. And male porn stars can be seriously unattractive or downright creepy.

4. Mainstream porn can have an element of sexism or misogyny involved e.g. the reality sites where women are “tricked” into sex and derided. Even the language of porn (”slut, bitch, whore”) is not encouraging to women who enjoy sex. It upholds the old dichotomies of virgin/whore; women are simultaneously valued and despised because they have sex.

5. There’s still plenty of uncertainty about where porn fits into a relationship. A lot of women feel threatened by their man’s use of porn. There’s a concern that fantasy will make reality less appealing.

6. Some women are concerned that porn is warping men’s idea of good sex, making them expect sex acts that may be unusual or demeaning or unpleasurable for the woman. They feel it misleads men into thinking women will act or think a certain way, one that doesn’t reflect reality.

From Ms Naughty

I know some women feel this way about porn, and in general the porn out there sucks—not just for women, for everyone. Everyone needs to demand better porn because a lot of it is lame. And yes, the majority of porn out there right now is targeting men, and for someone like me, who is a women and likes porn, this gets annoying. And I defintely prefer some real sexy in there—not just airbrushed Barbies. That’s not hot to me and is actually a turn off. As far as #4 goes: I like being called a slut in bed and I’m a feminist… So now what. But yeah as far as porn warping men’s ideas about sex and misleading men into thinking women will act a certain way in bed (i.e., being WAY INTO ANAL.) Those are stupid men who we shouldn’t be fucking anyway.

*Sigh* Sorry kids, mommy’s tired today.